Sleeping

Ian slept in a little cosleeper bed right beside our bed from Day 1, to make nursing easier, and it also alleviated fears of squishing him. Eventually, though, he ended up sleeping w/Shannon and I (Owen has always slept on his own, thankfully!)

Well, I looked up the other day and realized Ian's almost a year old and still nurses frequently throughout the night--meaning I haven't slept through the night in a year. He barely wakes up when he nurses--grunts a little, and I wake up and off he goes, falling back to sleep quickly but not immediately, so that means I'm up for a while, sometimes not falling back asleep easily...you get the picture.

So tonight was the night. I'd previously tried keeping him from nursing but still letting him cosleep, to try to ease the transition. No dice. The smell and proximity of Mom was too hard for both of us. So I put him in his crib and said good night. I did this after he'd already been asleep for about 2 hrs., so he was sleepy already.

45 minutes later, he's asleep. I went in every 3 minutes, three times, then in every 6 min., twice, then every 10 min. The last time he let me lay him back down and rub his tummy. He slowly fell asleep, occasionally opening his eyes to give me this awful wounded-animal look--"how could you?"--but exhaustion won out in the end. I did not just let him cry it out alone because I felt like he needed to know I was still around, had not abandoned him, but also that I was not going to pick him up. Ugh. I hated it all...but when school starts, I have to be able to sleep!

Ah, tomorrow, let's talk about Owen and sleeping. Another great story, sure to fascinate...

Good night. Must sleep while I can.